The Problem With Perfection

Next month will be the two-year anniversary of this blog. The first post I wrote was, "Sugar Junkie Goes Raw for 30 Days." Then I promptly spent the next two years trying to actually go raw for 30 days. You can read about some of my MANY aborted attempts along the way. I really struggle with the perfection aspect of it. I want to do it 100% right with no exceptions. But I don't.

The problem with goals of perfection is that it's too easy for me to do something less than perfect. I am thoroughly entrenched in the rut of mediocrity and fear I will never climb out. I fail at my goals every single day. Which results in discouragement which is really ugly in my world. Discouragement usually leads to bingeing. Which makes no sense at all because you'd think if I was discouraged about eating an unauthorized brownie I would stop eating the brownies right? Yet my reaction is usually to finish off the entire pan of brownies. Go figure.

Knowledge is power and I need to remember that I always trip over the word perfection. I go down hard and fast when that expectation is around. I admire and am inspired by those who say, "I'm doing a sugar fast, or a raw food diet or a whatever they want thingy," and then just do it. Just like that. No tripping. No mulligans, aborts, do-overs or anything. They just do it. And make it look painless. 

Those people used to annoy the heck out of me and make me feel inferior. I know better now. We are all different and that's a good thing. I need to focus on my strengths (ridiculous persistence to the point of insanity) and not beat myself up over weaknesses (anything that requires me following strict rules. I struggle with rules in general.) I'm just going to do the best I can and stop saving the posts for when I do it perfectly. That may never happen.

I am trying to follow the menu from the Optimum Health Institute. That's where this whole process began for me and that's where I go to get my super powers back. Now let's see if I can follow that plan  (or something close to that) at home. Wouldn't that be wonderful? 

I started yesterday:

Sunday, February 17th, 2013    
159 pounds (more than when I started two years ago)

B: cucumber, celery and apple juice with lime (my favorite green juice)
S: lots of cantaloupe
L: salad with sunflower seeds, avocado, sprouts and sauerkraut
D: more of the same salad with cucumber, carrots and red bell peppers

Off plan: Some fabulous Sunday afternoon Snickerdoodles sent over by my neighbor and master baker, Sydney. I also made cookies and ate a few more than I wanted to. 

Today:  Monday, February 18th, 2013
157 pounds (down two pounds-it must have been the Snickerdoodles)

B: bowl of blueberries and strawberries with 2 tablespoons of vanilla cashew cream

S: ginger kombucha  (fermented probiotic drink-only 15 calories)

L: big salad with lettuce, red bell peppers, cucumber, carrot, avocado and sunflower seeds.

S: small tart frozen yogurt

D: same salad as lunch but with ranch dressing