Lowering the Bar

 
I keep trying to do this 30-day raw food experiment but I always give up or nose dive into cupcake land. I should just call it a day and accept who I really am: a sugar junkie through and through. I once went to an AA meeting in an attempt to conquer this addiction. Everyone took their turn saying, “my name is so and so. And I’m an alcoholic.” When it was my turn I said, “My name is Sandi and I don’t know what I am.” Everyone laughed but I was serious. Am I really a sugar junkie or is it an excuse to eat whatever I want? It seemed silly or even a little disrespectful to compare my addiction to theirs. But on an honest day I will acknowledge that eating lots of sugar affects my health, my ability to handle stress and my personality, which affects my life and the lives of those close to me. I eat it when I know I shouldn’t and when I don’t want to eat it. Whatever you want to call it, I will master this thing. I will be the captain of my soul and the guardian of my health.

This goal of eating only healthy raw vegan food for 30-days haunts me. Not when I’m sleeping or alone in a big house but nearly every time I’m stuffed with junk and feeling crappy. It’s a goal that won’t let me go and one I WILL reach one day (or die trying!) My twinner, Suzy, tells me not to try such a hard thing because it inevitably leads to failure. She encourages me to start smaller. Baby steps. She may be on to something. If I’m unable to make it through a week without sugar it makes no sense to skip that step and move on to something harder. I’m failing multiplication so lets move on to Algebra! Good plan? Not.

With my long and colorful past of dieting flops this  30-day goal of mine seems a bit extreme. Maybe I need to lower the bar a bit and work my way up.

 A big part of my lack of success is my lack of planning. I just figure I will eat what sounds good at the time, which means I eat a lot of raw desserts for dinner! Or I make something with whatever I have in the house which tends to get me into a uncreative rut. Another one of my problems is that I can’t seem to find 30 days that don’t include holidays, birthdays, parties or some other event that traditionally trips me up. I was pondering this quandary as I walked into the library a few days ago. I stopped at the display of books in front of me and picked up the first book that caught my eye. It was: Ani’s 15-day Fat Blast
I didn’t even know this book was out but boy am I excited. Whenever I want a yummy, easy to prepare raw dish I often end up in Ani Phyo’s book, Ani’s Raw Food Kitchen. She just does good stuff. In this new book she’s done all the work for me, except for the eating of course. The menu, the recipes, the philosophy, the reasoning behind the menu and the encouragement. I told my sister-in-law, Kim, about it and she’s game! We are starting Monday, June 11, 2012. We’re doing the 15-day raw food fat blast which seems more doable. I will follow Ani’s plan exactly. Try the recipes without substitutions or additions. She’s done all the thinking for me so it should be a no-brainer.
This feels like a good step toward my DIY 30-day raw trial. For now, lowering the bar might be the perfect way to reach new heights.