A Little Help

Guess where I found myself today? Back at square one! It seems that 1-23-12 wasn’t really the start of my 30-day raw feast experiment after all.  I will spare you all the excuses, just trust me when I tell ya they were really good ones! But, here I go again...

I don’t know about most women, but for some reason I don’t really care for diet and exercise advice from my husband. Suggestions, especially (but not limited to) unsolicited ones, don’t sit well with me. Although I understand on a logical level that he is trying to be a helpful, supportive husband it really just feels like nagging criticism to me. I know this is due entirely to my perception of the situation but, it is what I think it is. Even though he will benefit or suffer from my food and exercise choices, I still stubbornly cling to the belief that it's none of his darn business.

I’m taking a different approach this time. I’ve invited him along on this journey, partly out of a desire to participate in an activity that will bring us closer together with common goals and mutual support. Partly so that he can review my exercise and food journals and finally believe me when I tell him that the female metabolism after forty turns into a huge, mean-and-nasty, sluggish, fat-making machine. Mostly, however, out of sheer desperation. I’m not doing very well all by my lonesome. It’s too easy to rationalize, justify, change my mind, start over or just plain wimp out at the sight of a doughnut.

I’ve signed up for April’s raw food cleanse here in St George. For the entire month of Feb she will prepare and deliver three meals and two snacks a day-all raw vegan. I’m really excited about not having to prepare any meals and about enjoying someone else's creations for a change. She’s taken the time to put together a great program for a month-long cleanse. I will not try to supplement or substitute anything. I’m committed to eating the meal, the whole meal and nothing but the meal.

I'm going to bring my dogs inside more often to infuse the house with their positive love energy. (My husband is shaking his head in disgust right about now) They're both labs and they never seem to run out of positive love energy!

And then there’s my twin sister, Suzy, who is also along for the ride. She sends me encouraging text messages all along the way which is really wonderful. She’s been sending me encouraging messages pretty much my entire life but it really helps here.

I'm also going to tell a few friends about this blog for that all important accountability aspect. It's been a super secret blog so far but I could use some more support on this journey.

It seems silly to me at times to ask for help concerning what I put in my mouth. But it’s not about the doughnut. It’s about so many other things like keeping promises to myself, taking care of myself, having some self control, doing hard things, following through, learning and growing, setting a good example, exploring paths to optimum health and learning through experience. It's about being the boss over those pesky sugar cravings.

Maybe, it’s taken me years of frustration at not being able to kick my sugar habit to finally admit that yes, I need a little help. This little problem is too big for me. Maybe, I just need to get rid of a little pride in order to make room for a little miracle.

“I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13

Since this seems to be the month of new beginnings, I will spend more time each day studying my scriptures, feasting on the word of God, and less time mindlessly surfing the internet. In the past I've noticed that when I do that I seem to make better choices. I get a little smarter when I don't depend entirely on my brain.

Feasting > Surfing  (need to write that on a post it and place on computer screen)


Wednesday Feb 1, 2012  151 pounds (up 3 pounds since Monday)

Three pounds in two days? Let me just say I really enjoyed myself. Back to business:
The green smoothie I had for breakfast was 60 percent fruit but tasted REALLY green to me. It got better after 4 or 5 swallows so I’m sure my taste buds are just adjusting to all this healthy stuff.  I had a chia seed pudding for a snack, which I enjoyed. The seaweed and cabbage salad for lunch was good but a little fishy for my taste. The kale chips were amazing (I don’t even like kale) and the veggie pasta dinner and crackers were quite tasty.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. It should be a good one.